I don't know what this post is about, or where it is going, as such it doesn't get a topical title.

Blogger tells me I haven't blogged in half a month. I think it's bluffing.

Maybe not.

Silly computer, telling me things that are true.

Anywho! Life here isn't as exciting as when we have a bunch of students. It's busy (well, I'm busy anyways), but everyday looks kind of the same - mostly. I wasn't that busy, as I used to do odd jobs that needed doing and my defined duties didn't require a whole lot of time. Then, beginning of the new year, we were talking about our website (which needs soooo much love). My base leader was talking about moving it, and possibly improving it, and they were going to pay someone because none of us knows how to code html. I raised my hand and said "well, actually...". So now I'm building a website. Well, I build the website, using Wordpress so that others can edit it, and if there comes a time where I'm not here it's not the end of the world for them. Wordpress, while a great little opensource program, is designed for blogs. ywamcharlotte.com... not a blog. So some adventures were had making a blog program make a not blog. There may have been some yelling at the monitor on occasion. So the website, as a base is ready to go, after many hours of work. I'm waiting on content now, mostly pictures, which have disappeared. Building the site was kind of fun. Hunting down pictures, less fun.

The website is basically my life at this point. The living room of my house is being redone. It got painted last week. We removed the carpet, and are now sanding the beautiful hardwood underneath. There is dust everywhere. I took a shower today and walked out into a cloud of dust... so now I'm covered in dust as well. But it looks nice. Cam and I will have to move into the big house while we stain the floor, and that will happen end of next week most likely. We received a generous donation to paint and repair the Blakeney house (which needs love). We're looking to replace the windows to more energy efficient ones at the same time which is another $20,000 that needs to be raised. The joys of living in a historical house.

Besides the big projects, life goes on here. We have two schools, a conference, and our short-term missions program coming up in Spring and Summer. We have six students accepted for our Discipleship Training School in March. It's the basic YWAM course. There are four more in the application process, and a few more who are still praying about it. A few of the students who are on their outreach phase of their DTS in Cambodia and Thailand right now are planning on doing the Worship, Intercession, Spiritual Warfare, and Evangelism school which starts beginning of April. If I can raise the $2990, I'll do it as well. It's leadership oriented, and I've only heard good things. I was going to do it last year, but then malaria happened. As well we have Mission Adventures, which is a program we have where we organize missions trips for youth or college groups. It's a way of helping churches get out into the field using our contacts and experience. We have two groups over spring break (30 students here the first week of the DTS. That'll be interesting.) and then three more in June. There are a few still in the process of being set up as well. And then Ignite Passion, a two-week conference will happen in July, but that isn't being pushed as much as it's still a ways off. The next few months are going to get very busy.

The teams in Cambodia and Thailand are doing great. It's mostly working with local churches teaching English to children. I know there was some disappointment among the Cambodia team as they wanted to work with human trafficking, until they realized that by teaching these kids English and life skills and loving on them, they are in fact helping prevent these students from needing to sell themselves into prostitution to survive. The girls on the Thailand team got the chance to work with ladyboys in Bankok. A ladyboy being a man who believes he is a woman, and by prostituting himself manages to pay for the sex change. I know there was one who decided to stop selling himself as a result of the Thailand team. I'm told that it normally takes years of relationship building for this to happen, so having a drastic result is a huge answer to prayer. So while both these outreaches are not as crazy and eventful as my outreach was, the stories we're hearing about the teams are incredible. Those who the Cambodian team are working with sent out a newsletter which after changing hands a few times arrived here. They received such praise, and those who work in Cambodia claim to be 'all but begging' the team to stay on long-term. Apparently in Cambodia and Thailand two months is considered a short-term missions trip. I'm proud of the students. They fought hard to get where they are.

So that leaves me personally. My life is far more complicated than I'd like, which significant amounts of spiritual warfare. I can't really elaborate here yet, as it involves others, in time though I'll be able to share. God has been pushing a verse and a passage this last week.
"For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me." -- Romans 7:15-20
I haven't totally wrapped my head around this passage yet, but God keeps using it anyways. I do know that I don't understand my own actions, and that in the midst of spiritual attack I will do the very thing that I hate. But I still wrestle with this passage a bit as it feels like a way of not claiming full responsibility for my actions. Today God was talking to me about Jesus' death on the cross, and at that point Jesus, the spotless lamb, took responsibility for our sins, and paid the highest price for them. And after a series of poor decisions I made the weekend before last because of the intense warfare I've been fighting, I do find that comforting, even though I kind of want to weep as a result.
"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." -- Exodus 14:14
So this is the verse God repeated to me over, and over, and over this last week. It would come up everytime I tried to freak out, or tackle the situation I created. If there is a problem, I like to deal with it. God has been firm that any attempt I make to remedy the situation will just cause more problems. He's also been gracious, and been speaking to those the situation involves.
I'm not certain what the end result of all this will be. I hope, and I pray for a certain outcome, but ultimately everything is in God's hands. We only get to control what we're given.

And that's my life as a missionary right now. Not as glamourous and exciting as say the students who are on the frontlines doing evangelism. But alas there must be senders as well as goers. And if staying in this house lets me help people find God's will for their life, and learn to speak out about how God has saved them without being afraid. Then my life is pretty good I'd say. For we are all part of the body, just not all the same part.

God bless,
Christopher